I am a Heart Mother

Lately I have been thinking about each day we spent in the hospital with Kyson last year. It was exactly one year ago today that he went back to the OR to get his chest closed. They had left it open to allow quick access to his heart in case of emergency and to allow some swelling to go down. As I have thought about that day and each day we spent in the hospital, I was reminded of a poem I originally read on a fellow heart mother's blog, The Simmons Family. I fell in love with it and I thought I would share it those of you who have not read it.

I am a Heart Mother
One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same...
They told me that my child was sick..
I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this...
I'm really not that strong..
It seemed my heart was breaking..
As, I'd loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child..
despite your best "advice"..
I will give my child a chance..
No matter what the price..
And I will learn all that I need..
to help my child to thrive...
I'll even use that feeding tube..
My child will survive!
And he'll needs lots of therapy?
And he just can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this..
I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps,( at 3:00 a.m.)
It serves as my reminder..
How many parents would welcome that sound?
Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings..
and I run to my sleeping child's bed..
I watch him then, for quite awhile..
(I bend down and kiss his head)
Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken..
And I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways..
No matter how I try.
And yet, I trust You hold his life..
(and guide us through each day)
My mind says savor each moment he's here...
But my heart whispers,"Please let him stay".
From... pacing the surgical waiting room...
to sitting by his hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good nights sleep..
to learning every med..
From... wondering will he be alright?
to watching him reach out his hands..
with every smile, my heart just melts..
(despite life's harsh demands)
For all who see that faded line..
I look to them and smile..
You see my child is loved so much..
I would face any trial...
That same scar I trace with my finger..
(It's the door to his beautiful heart)
You must have known how much I'd love him..
(Just as You loved him right from the start)
A heart mom is always a heart mom..
(wise beyond all of her years)
And for those who have angels in heaven..
Our hearts share in all of your tears..
On Mother's Day I will remember..
You chose me for him(and no other)
And I will embrace that beautiful day..
When I became a "heart mother".
By Stephanie Husted

I have been keeping up with a lot of "heart baby" blogs lately. It is inspiring because each of these babies has an amazing story to tell. If I'm ever having a bad day I can read one of these blogs and I feel an immense amount of gratitude for Kyson and the progress he has made. For example the blog I mentioned previously is about Owen and he is currently waiting for a heart transplant. Then there's Jack who recently had his Fontan (the same surgery Kyson will have in a couple years). There's also Ethan who has had his Norwood and will have his Glenn within the next few weeks. Grant also has a very inspiring story and I was so happy to hear that his parents were finally able to take him home. There are many more I could mention and like I said they each have a fascinating story to share.