Overall I try to keep positive about how things are going with Kyson. It's just part of me...I'm an optimist. It makes going through trials like this easier because I am able to focus on the good.
Well, last night was one of those nights that was just HARD. Kyson is at his breaking point. Even when he was at his happiest yesterday, whenever someone would get near him he would plead, "Please, don't give me big owies!" Of course most of the time we could reassure him that there wouldn't be any owies but sometimes we couldn't. Last night he was completely exhausted but being in the hospital there are things that just can't be postponed until he is awake. He needed a Lovenox shot (a blood thinner that they say stings going in) and he needed a blood draw. Unfortunately his RA line would no longer draw blood back (still flushes thank goodness) so they had to do a finger prick. This was about 4:30 am and he was screaming MAD. As I helped hold him down for these things I saw all the fluid in his chest tubes and I realized that meant more days of this craziness. At that moment I felt overwhelmed and so sad. I don't want to hold my child down as he screams bloody murder anymore(I know I could leave the room but I have to be there for him). It's inevitable though, I know for sure he has to get a PICC line today since his RA line is not working correctly and it needs to be taken out. It's just part of being in the hospital.
Now I know this is the most I have gone into detail about the hard parts of being in the hospital. I also want to add some of the best parts about being here. First of all, there is a special spirit here. I know there are angels surrounding Kyson. I have had that reassurance many times. It is also amazing to feel all of the prayers that are being offered in your behalf. Until Kyson I didn't know what that felt like and I believe it is something everyone would be blessed to feel. Of course most of the time if you have a lot of people praying for you it's because you are going through a very difficult trial. I guess that's why we have trials...to gain testimonies of things like prayer. I have said this before, going through this is teaching me to be a better mother. It is teaching me about what is most important in life. Those are invaluable lessons to learn and I am grateful.
Two other things that are great about being here are the nurses and the amazing people I get to meet every day. Kyson has had many many nurses and the ones in the cardiac ICU are some of the very best. I absolutely love our nurse today...she's great with Kyson!
I've met several families here in the PICU going through some of the same things we have been through. I love sharing stories and being able to give encouragement and hope to others.
I'll end with a couple fun pictures.
Here he is snuggling with his bunny watching movies. 
Another dog came to visit...this one is Tiger!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The good and the bad!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I am a total optimist like you, but it is good to have the real emotions documented as well. This is almost one week post op right? I think anyone in their right mind would be done if someone came in to bug me at 4:30am! I do hope that tonight brings a little relief and that the drainage starts to reduce so that there can be an end in sight!!
I think it is important to document the good, bad and the ugly. Then you can truly look back and appreciate the hard things you have all done. Kyson is such a sweet boy and has a strong spirit. Thank you for letting us visit last night. I am sorry he has to get so many "owies". Love you all.
Reading this makes me tear up a bit! You are so strong and you are an optimist, but it is what is carrying you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is okay to vent and I think it is important to! Prayers are continually being said I know that the Lord is answering them! It is when we reach our breaking point that we have to rely on the Savior. I love you! Wish I could have been there today...I will stop by tomorrow!
I too feel SO blessed to know what it feels like to have people praying on my behalf. Every time I pray for someone else now, I have a testimony that the prayer I'm offering can actually do something. I really didn't understand that before. I'm sorry for all of the hard things that you guys are going through.
I'm so glad to hear you guys are doing okay, despite the really rough stuff you're going through! You are such a good little momma. I love reading about the ups and downs while you're so supportive and loving to him. I sent the link to your blog to my mom to let her know how you guys were doing. She'd love to know which hospital you are in. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything! I love you lots!
You are both doing amazing. It's so helpful to remember the good with the bad. When you are as distanced from it as we are you'll find yourself rereading this and think, was it really that bad? I swear Heavenly Father shields your memory to remember the good. Hang in there!! How fun to have dogs visit!
What a crazy adventure this truly is right? I wish you two the very best and we are praying for you. As a Mom I can't imagine how hard this is for you but I must say how much of an example you are to me! I love you!
Post a Comment